Like clockwork

Oh Delhi. Here I sit on the floor of a very skinny hallway and not a fan in sight. I wait in this tiny crag because of certain wants not being met. The whole thing is a lot more complicated than I could have imagined. It’s an antique clock I bought on impulse in a shop down south, and I’m not certain as to how hard I should turn the crank or what I can do to make it work without explosion. So what do I do? Out of curiosity one must play with the clock a little bit, test its limits and see what bends which way. It chimes an off key chord, something sounds like it snapped. Well, shit.

Once again I haven’t slept for quite some time; it’s 9 in the morning. Allan and I just got back from a quick stroll after seeing Danielle and Jessica off. It’s really a sad day for me. A couple days earlier Hamid left our presence as well, we may meet up again in a couple of weeks. I have been removed from a comfortable situation and must learn to rid these feelings, one area of life I hope to mature during my trip. I feel like a part of me is missing now, and have begun to plan (which I haven’t done for 3 weeks) what I can do to stay busy. A couple museums, gym, cinema, swimming pool, and long walks will be the first on the list. Most things happen or begin for me whilst walking, so I’m going to do what works. Buying the Enfield (oh and I might buy a motorbike) will open up a lot of opportunities, along the lines of more challenges and more freedom (is more freedom possible?). Is this what I really want to do now, all of these things? Right now I’d rather  my friends came back together, but I must not forget one of the most important lessons vipassanna taught me, anicca: everything is impermanent.

The boys.

I’m now aware of the qualities I find attractive in a woman. In fact, many of the things I thought were important really are the exact opposite. Mannerisms I don’t understand rather than ones I feel comfortable with make me much more curious, much more willing to try if they are practiced genuinely and with good will. A woman lacking confidence is only a girl; when her actions are synonymous with her thoughts and her speech: total sploosh.

No more henna, I promise. Maybe.